Recent Posts

Finding Myself ~ Coming off antidepressants

I feel like change is gonna come

I’m feeling free.

For the first time in years I don’t feel like I have to rely on pills to settle my moods and keep me from descending in to misery.

I’m so looking forward to the day I pop my last pill.

All good things are wild and free

But I’m scared as hell too.

For years I’ve been balanced by little white pills.  They’ve stopped me going to far in either direction, neither too up nor too down.

I’ve relied on them for so long to keep me sane, I’m not sure how to do it by myself.

They’ve become my crutch, my dependency on them probably isn’t healthy.  But they’ve been there.  When times were tough, and oh my, were times tough, it felt as though popping those pills was the only thing that got me through, I know they weren’t, but now faced with no longer having them, I’m scared to be without them.

I don’t know who I am without them.

What if the girl I was before the shit hit the fan has really ceased to exist?

I miss her, she was crazy, funny and weird.  She was kind and made others laugh.  She fought for and stood up for people, not backing down no matter who stood in her way.  The endless energy she had, the excitement that would show itself in a scream or jumping up and down.  The peace she would find the simplest of things.  I loved her and miss her.

She’s been cloaked in a grey shadow for too many years, but the fear of not finding her once the grey clears is immense.

There’s a lot about me know that I hate, I feel weak, both mentally and physically.  A stronger person would have dealt with this and moved on, instead I crumpled.  I’ve lost years, some of the best years with my children and I hate myself for that.

I’m a jumbled mess of emotions, which is natural I guess, coming off these drugs was bound to bring up lots of mixed feelings.

I just hope at the end of it I’m still me.

And that I can learn to like, if not love me again.

How To ~ Make a Driftwood Mobile

I’ve always had an affection for driftwood.

Each piece is unique.  Its appearance, texture, size…even their story, if they could tell it, would be different.

Some were merely a twig, snapped off a tree and fell tumbling in to the seas until such time they washed upon a shore. Others, part of a boat maybe, which was attacked by pirates.  Another piece may have been part of a sturdy container, carrying precious cargo which never made it to its destination, instead it has been tossed about, battered and finally left laying out to dry under the sun.

driftwood on the beach and wrapped in twine

I’ve been collecting driftwood since we moved down to the coast; some I just clean up and pop in a dish, it looks pretty in a gnarly, natural way.  Other pieces have been turned in to something else, whilst most of it just waits.  Waits for inspiration to kick in and tell me what to do.

I finally decided that I wanted to make a driftwood mobile.

How to diy a driftwood mobile

Step 1. Gather up a bunch of driftwood.  I realise this may be an issue for those who don’t live a hop, skip and a jump from the beach, you can either buy some, use twigs or head for an impromptu trip to the coast.  I decided to add wooden stars to the mobile, but these are optional.

driftwood and stars

You’ll also need string, a candle and some whitewash paint.

Step 2. Paint the driftwood with the whitewash paint.  This wont turn the wood white, it just gives it a protective layer and nicer colouring.

Leave the driftwood to dry.

Step 3. Using a pencil make the centre of each piece of driftwood, and star if using them, then with an electric drill and a small drill bit, add a hole to each piece.

Step 4. Lay all the pieces out, driftwood and stars, in the order you want them on the mobile.

How to make a drift wood and star mobile pieces arranged in size order

Step 5. Light a candle and dip the frayed edge of the string in to the wax pool, remove it and let the wax cool and harden. This makes threading the string through the driftwood so much easier.

How to make a drift wood and star mobile threading on to twine

Cut a length of string, twice as long as you want the mobile to be, this leaves enough room for knots and hanging.  Start threading the driftwood and stars on to the string.

How to make a drift wood and star mobile threading driftwood on to twine

Step 6. Continue threading the items on to the string.  I made little knots below each piece of driftwood to ensure they wouldn’t all slip down and sit on top of each other.

How to make a drift wood and star mobile stars between driftwood

Step 7. Once you have every piece threaded, snip the string and tie it off.

Now you just need somewhere to hang the mobile.

How to make a drift wood and star mobile strung in the garden

drift wood and star

driftwood mobile

Share This

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
09 10