Adventures in Parenting ~ How Your Kids Can Embarrass You!

Well, um, yeah, by the time you read this I might be in prison or something!
I’m kinda joking, but you never know, and I’m not saying that in a hopeful way!
I need to back track a little…
Some family member {not sure who} gave my boys a plastic toy gun that fires those sticky arrows.
Hubby and I spent a while trying to fire an arrow at each others head, then forgot about it. {Really we lost the arrows and it didn’t seem fun anymore}
The boys ignored it for a while, then for some unknown reason Ethan started to poke the barrel of it out the letter box.
As people walked past our house!
Oh my what the heckness, seriously!
Did you know we live opposite a school?
Not even funny, can you imagine someone just glancing at our house and seeing the barrel of a gun pointing at them?!
So yeah, toy gun gone, and I settled back in to my {chaotically peaceful} life with crazy kids.
Which was all going swimmingly until one day I hear little voices calling out
“Hello. Hello man, help us”
“Help us, please please please”
“Hey, where’s that man going? Help, help”
I then realise that the voices seem horribly familiar.
My kids
Are calling out to strangers for help.
Through the letterbox.
I die, seriously! What the heck?
I thought we were naughty as kids when we didn’t get our own, we would flounce off in a strop as only teenagers can and tell our parents we would call Child Line.
Our parents gave us money for the phone call!
{We never did call them, because they really do have much more important things to do}
But never did we resort to calling out to random strangers!
I would say they were sneaky clever, but this was just wrong, crafty little buggers.
Lucky for me, no one took them seriously, although I can’t help but be slightly indignant. How do people know that there wasn’t some stark raving mad loon who had captured the kids and was going to boil them in a pie or something.
So now we have kids who wave a gun out the letter box and call out to strangers for help, I just know the local Residents Association / Neighbourhood Watch are itching to nominate me for neighbour of the year!
Earlier today Ethan some how discovered where I had hidden the craft paint, it was in the bottom of a cupboard in the pantry, with a big box in front blocking the door, on top of the box were 2 big arse cans of paint, I thought I had this hiding malarkey down to a TEE!
Turns out I know nowt about hiding things, unless its something I want!
I walk in to the kitchen to find their paint tray on the floor with green paint in each tub, at least he is consistent.
Not wanting to waste the paint nor go to the pointless hassle of trying to pour the paint back in the bottle I hand the paint tray and brushes to the boys, telling them
“You can paint the garden. But not the plants or the laundry”
Now I know where you think this is going, painted laundry and stuff, but nope, today my kiddos didn’t want to do predictable!
After painting the decking, paving slaps, each other, walls, the slides, watering cans, beach hut, French doors I decided to bung them in the bath.
As that tap started running all hell broke loose.
I had to lock the bathroom door and kept making mad dashes across the landing to wrestle a nekkid kid either back in the bath or in a towel to dry off.
Whilst attempting to bathe 2 kids, who go bat arse slippery eel crazy at the word bath, never mind being in it, they were screaming and hollering something rotten.
I’ve never heard noise like it, I’ve been to Metallica concerts quieter!
With screams of
“Let me go, let me gooooooooooooo”
“Noooooooooooooooo”
Replaced with a joyous “Mummy, you saved us” when I picked them out the bath.
Goodness knows what the neighbours thought!
I would say “poor neighbours”, but nope, because now I’m the crazy lady whose kids poke guns out the letter box, call out to strangers to help them and scream blue murder from the bathroom.
And they are probably already on the phone to the police or the Odd Neighbour Patrol and planning on how to get us out!
On a positive note when the boys came downstairs they were so cute and cuddly I just had to snap a few photos, poor Ethan flaked out from the whole drama, whilst Ahren was working the cute factor.
ahren collage
ethan Collage
Hopefully see you all tomorrow!
3childrenandit

12 comments :

  1. Oh, this is so funny! I know as the Mom in the room, you were probably not thinking 'funny' but you know boys keep things interesting don't they?
    We raised two of them and I can't think of a time when things weren't topsy turvy boys-land! Lick your wounds, you're still on top of things!! And they love you even more 25 years down the road for it!
    Carli

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  2. Hahahaha! Thanks so much for the laugh! Glad I am not the only one with a kid who does crazy embarrassing things. The other day she decided that the little girl I babysit needed a hair cut. Only she cut a little round patch right on her forehead. I couldn't believe it! Thankfully the girls mom just laughed and said it'll grow out. Needless to say, the scissors have been hidden VERY well!

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  3. The little terrors, they certainly keep you on your toes. But think of all the funny (and embarrassing) stories you can tell future girlfriends :)

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  4. Wow, I'm glad I just found this blog, thanks for the laughs! I feel for you.

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  5. Hilarious....only because I can relate.
    My youngest who is 5 loves to get a reaction, any reaction. While in the crosswalk at an outdoor shopping center my son looked at the car waiting for us to pass and said in his best Soprano's voice, Hey! I'm walking here!
    Nice. I'm raising a teamster.
    Boys are always a handful but so loveable. :)
    Good luck with the rest of your weekend.

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  6. oh. no. seriously. you've gotta write a book with these. and you could totally call it "adventures in parenting." i laughed so hard when i read this i almost peed myself! *sigh* that was good.

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  7. this made me laugh so much !! when me and my sister was little when we saw the postman or paper boy coming we used to grab the mail as they were putting it through the letter box and bark like dogs!!

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  8. Oh my goodness! There's never a dull moment with kids, is there? I can relate to some of these, but poking a gun out of the door and shouting to strangers is definitely a new one!

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  9. Thank you for making me laugh :) I found your blog through the linky on '3 Children and It'. Will hop around some more now I'm here.

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  10. Your life is certainly one big adventure! They sound like such 'characters'....I mean that in a good way ;) I'm a little disturbed that no-one took them seriously when they were asking for help! Thanks for linking to #oldiesbutgoodies :)

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  11. Oh my! I had a good chuckle over this one... Kids are hilarious sometimes!

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  12. Hilarious post - what little monkeys!
    #oldiesbutgoodies

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Thank's for taking the time to read and comment, I appreciate each one!

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